How to Get Back to the Basics?

Love, love, love, love…..it is such a funny thing. We seem to fall into it, and now society says that we can also “fall out of it?” We talk a lot about vision, and preparation, and finding that Best Love, but what if you already have a love? Maybe you don’t feel like they are a best love yet, but what do you do to start getting there?

This morning I’ve had these thoughts coming and going through my head. I’ve thought a lot about the excitement and newness often found in dating, and how those who can be so happy, can grow to not feel that same excitement over time. We see in many movies, those who go from lovers to roommates. I would imagine those who claim to “fall out of love” might not be able to pinpoint the exact moment, but instead, one day they realize how far they had grown apart. I have not been in the position where I have grown apart from a spouse or boyfriend, but I wonder if the things that were part of falling in love in the first place, might just be the keys to creating that best love again, or for the first time. Maybe it’s those things we just did, almost without thinking?

One of my professors would always remind us “Things Take Time.” It was 100% true in investing, and it is just as true with investing in your relationship. The question then is what are you going to do within that time?

Sometimes I think we might look at relationships and say “they do this (go on walks, buy flowers, kiss like crazy) because they are in love.” Love is definitely magical, but do you think it might actually be some of the other direction:

“Because they go on walks, buy flowers, always say good morning and goodnight, they are falling even more in love.”

I don’t believe in making your heart fall in love–I don’t think that is humanly possible. However, I do believe our choices influence our experiences and either fuel the fire or help put it out–maybe even if you feel like it is gone completely.

What was your love story? What were the things you always did together or for each other?

Let’s get back to the basics!

Every love story is different, but here is a list of many of the things that happen in the early stages of dating, or when you feel like you just can’t live without your best love! Some of these might seem obvious, but they are called basics for a reason. Though this is my personal opinion, I feel these things are the most important. Let’s think about what we do to continue to fall in love, and all the while remembering “TTT” Things Take Time. Maybe we have the opportunity to be brave and change the course of our relationships.

Just a few of the basics:

1. Use their name–instead of just saying hello, address them. A person’s favorite word is their own name.
2. Make and hold eye-contact. I don’t know about you, but some eyes make your heart melt, and somehow make you feel like you can take on the world. Be that for your Best Love. (And you might see something you haven’t noticed for a while.)
3. Let yourself laugh–don’t take yourself too seriously. Laughing together at the quirks of life is comforting to the soul, and brings you closer. It relieves tension that creeps into our relationships.
4. When’s the last time you hugged them? Like really hugged them. It might take some serious courage, but what if you initiated it the next time you see them?
5. Remember your first kiss? Maybe you could recreate it, but what if you just kissed your best love like it was the first time? Take it aaalllll in Those moments are special, and God intended for us to draw closer emotionally and physically.
6. The first time you hold hands is so marvelous!  What would your best love do if you grabbed their hand the next time you are walking somewhere, or in church, or at dinner? It seems to me, that that is how you keep life sweet.
7. Leave them a note. Let them find it when you aren’t around. For inspiration, go to How to Craft the Perfect Love Letter.
8. Remember their favorites. I was once driving somewhere with a dear friend of mine, and she said she needed to stop at this tiny little gas station. She explained that they sold this treat that her husband absolutely loved. She taught me a huge lesson that day: When you love someone, you do things that make them happy. I can tell you too, her husband is the same way. They are best loves.
9. Compliments. We think so many good things, but no one ever knows unless we say them. Build up your best love with sincere compliments
10. The last one today is to simply make time for them. In theory, we spend at least 4 minutes brushing our teeth every day, maybe you have a 30-minute commute, or you watch an hour-long TV program before going to bed. All good things, but Best Loves are about remembering the Best things. What would 10 minutes a day, just sitting, talking, snuggling, without the cares of the world, do for your relationship?

After all is said and done, things take time, but there is always hope on the horizon. Is it time for you to go from just Lovers to Best Loves? It never hurts to go back to the basics.